Money was my purpose. It ran out.

Hey it's Damian,

During one of our first Founders House events, a Swami sat down with our members and asked a question, "Why did you start your company?"

The answers came back fast. Money. Purpose. Freedom. Creating something unique.

It got me thinking about all the founder posts you see in NYC that lead with the raise or the revenue. Is money the purpose?

It was for me. My first purpose was money and freedom. Getting out of a corporate job.

So this week I'm what I’ve learned about finding purpose and where it actually comes from. First, here's what's coming up at Founders House, including the one event I'd tell you not to miss.

📆 On the Calendar

Wed, Jul 29 at 4pm | 🛠 Workshop Wednesday: Startup Legal Essentials (LLC vs C-Corp, fundraising)

Tue to Thu, ongoing | 💻 Cowork Day Pass. Not a member yet? Come work from Founders House for a day.

Wed, Aug 5 at 5pm | 💸 Workshop Wednesday: GTM Mastermind with Valli Ventures

Thu, Aug 13 at 7pm | 🎲 Poker & Game Night

Tue, Aug 25 at 2pm | ⭐ Summer Builders Day. The big one, more below.

The one to circle: Summer Builders Day, Tuesday, Aug 25, 2 to 7pm at Founders House. We're opening 22 Vanderbilt for a full afternoon of founders building side by side, and closing it out together. If you come to one thing this summer, make it this one. Save your spot →

Now, back to the Swami's question on purpose.

Growing up in Michigan, I got labeled the shy kid. My teammates said it, my classmates said it. So I became it. I acted shy because that was what other people expected of me. Anytime I tried to express what was actually in me, it got pushed back. "Damian, that's not you." I heard it enough that I started to believe it. For years I was a kid who spent a lot of time alone in his room, imagining all the things I wanted to do and create, with nowhere to express any of it.

A few years later in college, I was sitting at a summer corporate desk job in a collared shirt and slacks, staring at a blank spreadsheet with my phone in my hand under the desk, playing Clash of Clans and hating every minute of it.

Two summers later, I started my own business. I'd had enough of living out what other people expected of me.

One morning that summer, I was driving home from the gym, shirtless, the sun rising over houses I couldn't afford. I had no proof my business would work. All my friends had prestigious internships in NYC and Chicago. And the tears started flowing.

I had zero revenue, so the tears had nothing to do with money. They were tears of gratitude. Because I was finally on my path and not someone else's.

Nobody handed me a purpose statement. The emotion came first.

That's the part I wish someone had told me about finding your purpose. You don't find it with words. You feel it first, and justify it with language and logic later. And it almost always traces back to the hardest thing you've been through. Mine was being a kid with a lot of imagination and nowhere to put it.

Some of the most successful founders I know carry a version of the same thing. A few of them grew up watching their parents struggle with money, and they felt it to their core. One friend exited his company for over $40 million, and what actually drove him was watching his mom lose everything, down to her car getting taken by debt collectors. On the surface his purpose looked like money. Underneath, it was making sure his family never had to struggle like that again.

And your purpose changes. The money and the freedom got me started, but they came from a negative place, and they ran out. A member of Founders House recently started a pillow company after 20 years in finance. He was a cofounder and partner at a PE firm for 10 years. His purpose then was to make money, transaction after transaction. Somewhere in there he asked himself, "surely there is more to it than this." Now his purpose has changed to building something of his own.

The thing that made my own purpose land was hearing my cofounder Louisa in a breathwork circle at Founders House a few weeks ago. She spent 10 years in consulting, the last 5 of them climbing the ladder at BCG, then traded all of it for a yoga cert in Bali. Lying on the floor next to me, she talked about crying tears of gratitude building Founders House and Urban Iron, the fitness race she puts on. We both had similar purposes behind creating Founders House.

That's when I understood what we were actually building. The purpose of Founders House is to empower people to express themselves and find their community. My new purpose is giving other founders the same freedom I found. Much different from how I started, but both very real.

So if you can't articulate your purpose yet, you're not behind. Purpose is a big word. All it really means is why you do what you do. Follow the thing you feel the most emotion around. You're allowed to figure the rest out later, and you're allowed to change it.

One more thing. "Damian, that's not you" is what your old life says the moment you step off the script, and it usually comes from the people closest to you. So get around the people who back your path instead of the ones who tear it down.

Now we're building the thing I wish I'd had. A place where people cheer you on for going on your own path, and carry you through the doubt of the friends and family who don't believe yet.

Hit reply and tell me where you feel the most emotion in what you're building right now. I read every one. And if you're ready to be around people who back your path, applications to join Founders House are open.

Talk soon,
Damian

P.S. If you only click one thing in this email, make it Summer Builders Day on Aug 25. Bring the thing you're working on. And if Founders House sounds like your kind of community, apply here or come try a cowork day first.